hopes & dreams
by suicidebycyanide
Summary: Cathy Hawkins returns to education wanting to achieve some A-levels to give her and her son a better life. But it isn't going to be easy with a boyfriend who's an addict, a gangster wanting Cathy to repay her boyfriend's debts and a proposition that can change her life forever. - —OC, rated a high T/M for adult themes.
1. CHAPTER I

ϟ

* * *

**hopes &amp; dreams**  
_rhythm is a dancer, i need a companion_

* * *

Cathy stood in the head-teacher's office, pacing up and down anxiously awaiting the arrival of the head teacher. She couldn't believe she was late on her first day at Waterloo Road but it wasn't all her fault, her arsehole for a boyfriend didn't help matters.

The secretary kept glancing in her direction and she felt ten times more self-conscious than she already did. She hadn't got a school uniform yet she couldn't afford too until her boyfriend got paid so she'd done the best she could with dark jeans and a grey hooded jumper.

Mr Fitzgerald eventually turned up at twenty-two ten, apologised about her wait and invited her into the office.

"Can I just apologise for being late this morning, it definitely won't happen again."

He gestured for her to sit down as he replied, "It's a new term, I'll oversee it this time. However, I do think punctuality is of huge importance."

"I understand," Cathy smiled softly, "as for the uniform or rather lack of it, I'm waiting for my boyfriend to be paid. His boss hasn't paid him for a couple of weeks so yeah, things are pretty tight at the moment. Is there anything in lost property I could use, just until I get my own?"

He nodded and said he'd try and sort something out for her at the end of the day, "why did you pick Waterloo Road?"

"I didn't really think of why to be honest, I just wanted to return to education, get my a-levels and a good job. Waterloo Road just seemed the safer option, its not far from my house and yeah, I've heard good things about this place."

"What did you get in your GCSE examinations at," he paused as he scanned his eyes over her file, "Anthony Warren Comprehensive."

"I received a small number of GCSE's compared to some. I got four B's, two C's and a D."

"In what subjects?"

Cathy crossed one leg over the other, "My B's were in English Language and Literature, History and Art. My two C's were in double award Science and my D was in my least favourite subject Maths."

"And what are you hoping to study at A-level?"

She paused for a moment. She'd given it a lot of thought, the subjects she was going to study for the next two. She eventually settled on those she studied at GCSE and gained the highest grades, "I've chosen to study English Language, History, Art and Chemistry."

"Interesting choice of subjects."

"Hard choice of subjects you mean?" Vaughan caught Cathy's gaze smiled softly and stood up. Walking towards the door he opened it and asked Sonya if she could print of Cathy's year twelve timetable for him. Sonya handed him a piece of paper a few minutes later and he walked back to the desk before handing it to Cathy.

"Here's your timetable, welcome to Waterloo Road."

She looked down at the piece of paper she'd been handed and looked at today. She should've had English this morning with Mrs Mulgrew followed by History with Ms McFall and then PE later on with Mr Reid. She sighed softly, folded up the paper neatly and placed it in her jeans pocket.

"Any questions?"

"No sir, thank you."

Stepping out of the office and then into the corridor, she leant against the wall and took a deep breath. She was about to take her timetable from her pocket when her mobile phone began to ring. Picking it up she frowned as an unknown number flashed upon the screen.

Answering the call she pressed the phone to her ear, "Hello?"

On the other end of the phone there was nothing but silence for a few moments before a voice answered, "Tell your Matt I want my money by three, otherwise there's going to be trouble."

"We haven't got any money!" She hissed down the phone, "We've told you this before so why don't you just piss off?"

He laughed, "I don't care. I want _my_ money that _your_ boyfriend owes me. And you know what'll happen if I don't get it?—"

She closed her eyes and swallowed as he told her in graphic detail what he'd do if Matt didn't pay up by three. The phone disconnected leaving a three second beeping sound and she reopened her eyes, pushed her phone into her pocket and tried to find the classroom she needed to be in for History.

After heading around the school twice over, Cathy eventually found the room she was supposed to be in. She was late, again and she took a deep breath as she knocked on the door of the classroom. An older woman with glasses and grey hair (who she presumed to be Ms McFall) approached the door and pulled it open.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes," Cathy smiled softly, "I'm Cathy, I'm new and I got lost on my way here. I should've been here ten minutes ago, sorry."

Audrey smiled at the girl in front of her who was obviously nervous and welcomed here into the classroom. Telling her to take a seat, Cathy sat in the first available seat that was in the middle of the classroom and listened as Audrey began to speak to her.

"We were just discussing what we're going to study this term," she smiled in her direction and Cathy hoped she wouldn't have to communicate much. She wasn't a fan of being heard, keeping your head down and nose clean was her motto, especially with her home situation not been very good. The last thing she needed was for the teachers of Waterloo Road to get involved, Matt would flip if she opened her mouth.

* * *

**jottings **/ if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	2. CHAPTER II

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO  
**_thriller, thriller, thriller._

* * *

She breathed a sigh of relief when the bell rang for home time though she couldn't deny that feeling of anxiousness at the pit of her stomach. It had gone past three and she wondered if her boyfriend had paid the debt he owed.

As she walked out of school with the other group of students, Cathy took her mobile out of her jeans pocket and called Matt. As the phone began to rang, she walked around the corner where a car was waiting. She had a horrible feeling in the bottom of her stomach and she knew she should turn around and head in the opposite direction. The phone disconnected the call and she shoved the phone in her pocket.

The back seat door of the car began to open and a big black man got out. He had tattoos all up his arms and he stepped towards Cathy, "we've been waiting for you."

"Have you?" She swallowed hard as she came to a stop, "sorry I'm late, school doesn't finish until three twenty."

"It's alright you're here now, come on."

She followed him back to the car and got in. The car was filled with men all of different weights heights and colour. She knew Matt was in big trouble, she knew from day one when he arrived home with drugs and god knows what else he was in trouble. Under any other circumstances she would've left but with Kayden being seven months old; they needed the cash regardless of the source.

"Is Kayden okay?"

"Of course, what do you take us for? That we hurt little kiddies for a kick. No it's you we need to talk too."

"Me but why?"

"We'll have a chat in a little while hun don't worry," the bald white man in the drivers side started the engine and began to drive away from the school. Cathy wasn't sure who these people were or why they wanted her. She just hoped she'd be home in time to put Kayden to bed and make a start on getting things ready for tomorrow morning for school.

The car eventually stopped outside a derelict warehouse that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. The engine turned off and the bald man from the front got out as did Cathy. The black man who'd spoken to Cathy earlier got into the driver's side, turned on the engine and drove away leaving them both staring at one another.

"Do I not get to know your name seeing as you know mine?"

"They call me big daddy," he began to walk towards the warehouse, "I bet you're wondering why your here right?"

"You could say that," she smiled slightly as they walked into the warehouse. The warehouse was pretty much a drugs factory, bags and bags of cocaine and heroin. It was only now that Cathy realised the true extent of Matt's involvement with "big daddy".

She swallowed hard, "so, what do you want me to do?"

Big daddy stepped forward and with a smile touched her cheek. Her breath caught in the throat as he caressed her cheek. She couldn't deny the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, what had she got herself involved in? What had Matt got her involved in.

"I just need you to do me a little job okay?" she swallowed away the lump in her throat and nodded. She had a debt to pay.

Hours later she went home relieved to find both Matt and Kayden asleep. Her _little_ job involved standing on the street corner, selling her body to raise the funds Matt should have had for big daddy, something Cathy shouldn't have to do.

The first thing she did after she'd made sure all the doors were locked was to shower. She peeled off her clothes, stood under the shower head and allowed the red hot droplets fall upon her body. Cathy washed and washed making sure the scent of every guy she slept with had gone. She knew it wasn't the end, it couldn't be.

This was just the beginning.

Finishing out of the shower she turned off the shower, got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her. Putting on her pyjamas, she ran the towel through her hair and walked into Kayden's bedroom. Watching him lying in the cot, she sighed deeply. How was she going to stop him from having a crap life?

Lying on the floor she closed her eyes, there had to be a way out of this situation, there _had_ to be but how? She was seventeen years old with no source of income other than her boyfriend's dodgy dealings, how could she take Kayden one day and leave for a new life somewhere?

* * *

**jottings / **if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	3. CHAPTER III

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**  
_boom diggy boom, boom._

* * *

"Where were you last night?"

It's the first thing that's exchanged between Matt and Cathy in the morning whilst she's feeding Kayden his porridge. She sighed. She knew she couldn't avoid the question forever but could she really tell Matt what she was doing?

"I asked you a question."

"Yeah I heard you," she shot a look in his direction, "I was out."

"I gathered but where?"

She sighed as she feed Kayden another spoonful of porridge, "what's with the hundred and one questions?"

"I ain't asking loads of questions!" He walked up to Kayden, bent down and kissed the top of his head. She ran a hand through her hair as he walked away, Matt not impressed with Cathy's lack of communication and secrecy.

Hearing the door close she sighed and return to feeding Kayden, knowing that Matt could never find out what she'd been doing. He'd hate her and think she was a slapper. Once she was finished feeding him, Cathy picked him up and walked into the bedroom.

Lying him on the bed she kissed his cheeks, "shall we get you ready?"

It hadn't been an ideal situation when Cathy fell pregnant for either of them but they'd adapted. Her and Matt moved out, put down a deposit for a flat and both of them had a purpose. It was just a shame that the purpose had changed once Kayden had been born, their relationship in tatters.

Deep down Cathy knew it was because of Kayden, they were still kids themselves (well Matt was twenty-two but men never grew up did they?)

Getting Kayden ready left Cathy to get herself ready. She placed Kayden on the floor surrounded by his toys and walked towards her wardrobe. Looking inside she pulled out the first couple of items she could find, a pair of black jeans and a black hooded jumper.

Putting them on, she styled her hair into a high ponytail and looked at Kayden happily babbling to himself. She chewed her lower lip wondering if she was doing the right thing in doing her a-levels. Did they really need it? Could she really leave Matt and live on her own, give them both a better chance in life?

It was half eight by the time Cathy arrived at school having dropped Kayden off at the child minders. The child minder was a lovely woman in her late forties who didn't charge much for having him to which Cathy was grateful for. She sat on the wall outside the door, swinging her legs backwards and forwards deep in thought.

She was going to be working again for big daddy leaving Matt to pick up Kayden from Sadie. She knew she couldn't say no, she'd got herself involved now and she had to see it through. Once the debt was paid then okay, she could leave but until then she was part of big daddy's property and she knew Matt wouldn't like that, he only ever wanted Cathy to himself.

"Morning," Christine said to Cathy as she spotted her outside though at first Cathy didn't say anything, still lost in her thoughts. Christine repeated Cathy's name and eventually the youngster moved her head from the floor and made eye contact.

"Oh," she smiled slightly, "was in a world of my own then."

"Anywhere nice?"

"A beach somewhere hot," she laughed nervously as Christine disappeared into the school. As she walked towards her classroom Christine couldn't help but think there was something worrying Cathy, call it instinct but there was definitely something upsetting the teen.

Cathy knew Christine suspected something and she knew she had to be very careful who she trusted with her secrets. She stood up from the wall and began to make her way towards the changing rooms. She didn't particularly enjoy Physical Education, she got enough of that running around after Matt and Kayden and Matt's daughter Bethany from a previous relationship.

Reaching the changing rooms before anyone else, she decided to start getting ready. Hanging up her bag after taking out her trainers, tee-shirt and tracksuit bottoms, Cathy glanced around to make sure the room was clear.

Taking a deep breath she took off her tee shirt and a cough startled her from behind. Frozen on the spot, she quickly threw on her top hoping whoever it was hadn't noticed the bruises. As she turned around her eyes fell upon Rhiannon, "sorry I didn't know anyone was in here."

Cathy shrugged trying to play it cool, "it's fine."

There was an awkward pause between the two, "how did you get that bruise?"

"Search me," she shrugged, "I'm clumsy always falling into something. Boyfriend's always saying I'm dopey. Can we keep this between me and you about the bruise though? You know what teacher's are like once they get their teeth into something yeah?

Rhiannon sighed deeply but didn't reply. That had been the first time they'd ever exchanged words since Cathy's first day yesterday. Cathy sat on the bench, fiddling with the ring around her finger as the rest of the girls got ready for PE, she knew her secret wasn't going to stay secret for long.

Today's PE lesson was playing basketball, two teams, girls split into half and the boys. Cathy preferred working with the guys because they weren't competitive or bitchy like the girls, they had a laugh and that's what she needed sometimes.

It wasn't long before Cathy and Lisa came to blows, shouting at one another, "what the hell was that?"

Lisa pushed Cathy and Cathy shoved her back with force, "don't touch me you stupid cow!"

Hector stood in between both girls and warned them that if they carried on they'd be in the cooler. Cathy walked off, chucking the ball to Rhiannon as she went. Sitting down on the bench she clutched her stomach feeling a stitch on its way.

"What was that about?"

Cathy looked up to find Hector sat next to her. She shrugged, "nothing sir, just a disagreement that's all."

He noticed her rubbing her stomach, "you okay?"

"Fine its just a stitch," she smiled softly to show that she really was okay, "honest its a stitch, I get 'em all the time because I don't exercise often."

His eyes met with hers for a second before he accepted her explanation and walked away back to referring the team. She sighed deeply, maybe she was wrong. Maybe coming back to school was a mistake, she didn't need her a levels, they weren't going to give her a better life were they?

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	4. CHAPTER IV

**note** — descriptive sex scene halfway through, rated M.

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**  
_hand in hand, me and you_

* * *

"Cathy, Cathy have you even been listening to a word I've said?"

She broke out of her thoughts as she heard Audrey speak to her, her eyes falling upon her and smiled slightly. She bit down her lower lip as Audrey told her to stay awake and stop daydreaming so much. Cathy knew she couldn't help it, she was thinking about tonight and how horrible it would be.

The bell rang to signal the end of the lesson and as she stood up out of her seat, she heard Audrey ask if she could have a quick word. Packing away her books, she slowly walked towards the front of the room.

"Yes Miss?"

Audrey looked at the teenager in front of her and smiled softly, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah everything's fine, I'm settling in."

"Are you sure? I can't help but notice you're very quiet," Cathy swallowed hard and nodded, "honestly Miss I'm fine, tired but okay."

"If you're sure?"

"Positive," she smiled brightly and left the classroom. Closing the door behind her she leant her head against the wall, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Christine was coming down the corridor when she saw Cathy outside Audrey's classroom.

Approaching her Christine said gently, "not in trouble I hope?"

Cathy jumped breaking out of her thoughts, startled by the presence of Christine. She'd been thinking deeply about Kayden and Matt and the debts she owed. Christine seemed to sense there was something troubling her, she noticed that this morning.

"I didn't mean to make you jump."

"It's okay," she forced a smile, "to answer your question I'm not in any trouble. Ms McFall just wanted to talk to me that's all."

"About?"

Cathy shrugged, "for god sake I'm tired so I'm quiet, there's nothing wrong! Can't you all just leave me alone?" She stormed off down the corridor away from the classroom and away from Christine. She sat on a wall outside, swinging her legs backwards and forwards when she felt the vibration of her phone.

Taking the phone out of her pocket she stared down at Matt's number and sighed. Accepting the call, she pressed the phone to her ear, "hello?"

_"Have you been sleeping around you slag?!"_

Her breath caught in her throat as she heard what Matt asked. She swallowed. How did he know? Feeling her heart beating faster in her chest, she took a few deep breaths and replied, "no course not, what makes you say that?"

_"Been hearing stories from the lads,"_ he paused, _"knew you were hiding stuff from me you bitch!"_

"I wouldn't need to have done it if you'd paid your debts!"

_"So you've been lying to me? You absolute fucking bitch, need a smack you do!"_

She breathed in deeply as she heard the words Matt called her over the phone. She knew when she got home tonight she was in for it. She was going to be in trouble. Putting the phone down she rubbed her stomach and sighed. Why couldn't her life just be simple?

At the end of the school day Cathy didn't go home, she knew there wouldn't be much point. All her and Matt would do would be argue and then he'd hit her and then she'd spend the evening thinking up of excuses for the morning when people questioned the bruise.

Instead she went to see Big Daddy because even though he was older, (forties plus), she felt safe with him. She knew she shouldn't think of it anything other than sex but whenever she was with him, she felt safe. Something she never really felt with Matt.

/

"You're looking sexy tonight," he spoke as she stood in front of him, red dress barely passed her thighs. She swayed her hips with a smile and then shrieked as he grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him.

He pressed his lips to hers roughly as she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Rocking backwards and forwards on his thigh she found herself getting wetter and wetter. He smiled knowing what she was doing, his member getting harder.

He kissed down her neck and along her collarbone as she breathed deeply, rocking backwards and forwards faster. He moved one strap of her dress, then the other until the dress fell down exposing her nipples. The cold air made them erect and she moaned as he touched one.

"Fuck," she whispered as he began to tug and pull at her nipples.

"You like that?" He asked with a smirk and bent down, placing one in his mouth. As he began to suck on her nipple Cathy moaned, her pussy getting wetter. He enjoyed teasing Cathy, she was a right cock hungry whore sometimes.

"Just fuck me please," she whispered into his ear.

He didn't need to be told twice as he picked her up and threw her onto the table. Spreading her legs wide, he spat on her pussy and slid a finger into her hole. Feeling his finger in her pussy almost caused Cathy to come straight away and as he added another finger, he began to move it around inside roughly.

"Oh fuck," she whispered as she began to rock her hips against his fingers. She loved being abused by big daddy, he always made her wet and gave her the best orgasms Matt could only dream of giving her. A couple of minutes later she shouted, "oh fuck I'm coming-"

Screaming as his fingers brought her to an orgasm, he almost spilled his seed as the walls of her pussy trembling around his fingers. As her body relaxed from her orgasm, he brought his fingers out of her and began to suck on his fingers tasting her cum.

Cathy licked her lips and kissed his afterwards, their tongues fighting for dominance. He grabbed her hips, held her in place and slammed his cock inside of her. Feeling every ridge and vein rubbing against her walls, she began to moan wanting him to fuck her hard.

"Oh yes," he groaned as he continued to slam his cock into her pussy. All Cathy could do was groan, she knew it wouldn't be long before she released her juices all over his cock. Grabbing her hair, he pulled her head towards him, her back arched giving him deeper access.

Before long both of them climaxed together and lay in a heap, Cathy no longer feeling dirty when she slept with him. When they were together she felt safe, something she never really felt with Matt.

* * *

**jottings** / if you like enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	5. CHAPTER V

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE **_your sun will come shining_

* * *

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That you're a whore?" Matt's words hit her like a brick and she swallowed hard. She didn't need to answer for Matt to know that she was stalling for time and trying to think of an excuse. He stepped towards her and she swallowed again.

"I—I did do a stupid thing."

"You slept with someone?" He didn't allow her to answer before he grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her head. Cathy couldn't help but cry out, the pain tearing through her body but he didn't stop, only pulled harder to show her who was boss.

Letting go off her hair Cathy fell to the floor and onto her knees, "how many did you sleep with?"

"I—I—can't remember," his foot collided with her rib and her breath caught in her throat, "honest Matt I don't remember. I only did it because we needed to pay the debt, we needed to pay it and that seemed the only option."

She cried out as he kicked her again, "so you're blaming this on me? You dirty, fucking, filthy bitch!" He spat at her and she started crying, desperately trying to get to her feet, "I did this for us. For me and you and Kayden. Everything I've ever done is been for you."

She grabbed his arm, "please don't be mad!"

"Get your filthy hands of me you slag!" He slapped her across the face, shoved her into the wall and began to walk out of the living room.

"Where are you going?" She screamed and he reached the top of the stairs and looked down at her. It was sad because Matt never really loved Cathy, he only ever stayed with her because of Kayden and he always wanted a little boy after the birth of Bethany.

"Taking Kayden and leaving you," he replied and Cathy shook her head.

"You're not taking Kayden."

"Try and stop me." She ran up the stairs and she pushed him, "you're not taking Kayden you bastard! Kayden's mine!"

"He's _ours_ and he's not going to have much change with a slag for a mother is he?"

Cathy swallowed, the tears she was crying making her eyes cloudy. Why couldn't he see she'd done it for them? Why was she seen as the bad person in this? If he'd never got involved in Big Daddy none of this would've happened.

"You're not taking him!"

"Like I said try and stop me."

She flung at him like a woman possessed, scratching his face with her nails but it wasn't enough to stop Matt from walking out with Kayden. Punching her in the face, his fist colliding with her nose, he threw her into the wall and grabbed the top of her arm.

"Are you going to stop?"

"Never!" With a sick smile, he pushed her down the stairs where she lay lifeless. Matt calmly walked into Kayden's bedroom and began to pack a bag. The quicker he could get Kayden away from that psychotic bitch, the better chance he had in life.

When she slowly came round the bright light of the hallway hurt Cathy's eyes. She blinked several times and began to sit up. Feeling something wet at the back of her head, she touched the back of her head and felt something pool through her fingers.

She couldn't hear crying and her stomach sank. Realising why not, she got to her feet and ran up the stairs and into Kayden's bedroom. His cot was empty and she stayed frozen on the spot staring at the spot where Kayden once slept.

She couldn't live without Kayden, he was the only person who brought sunshine into her life. Now he was gone she didn't see the point in living, she walked into the bathroom and opened the bathroom cabinet where all the medicine was kept.

Reaching for one of the bottles, she unscrewed the lid and stared inside at the yellow pills until she heard a cry.

She froze. She heard the cry again. Depositing the tablets in the sink Cathy began to follow the cry until she was outside her bedroom door. Pushing open the door she blinked when she saw Kayden lying on the bed, tossing and turning and crying.

Cathy blinked not quite believing Kayden was still here.

Running up to the bed, she sat down on the edge, picked up Kayden and squeezed him tight.

"It's okay baby, mummy's here." She whispered into his ear and immediately he settled down, snuggling into his mother's warmth.

* * *

**jottings **/ if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	6. CHAPTER VI

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX**  
_encore une fois_

* * *

She was sat on the bed for ages, watching over Kayden making sure nothing would happen. Cathy knew she needed to go to sleep, to clean herself up and to pretend that nothing had happened but she couldn't, she couldn't bare to leave Kayden with Sadie. What if Matt got him whilst she was at school?

Cathy heard the front door creak open and her breath caught in her throat. Quietly tip-toeing to the door, she closed it and pushed the set of draws towards the door barricading herself in the room. If it was Matt he wouldn't be able to get in and take Kayden away from her.

"Cathy I know your here bitch!"

She swallowed hard, her heart beating faster. Matt could be dangerous when he wanted to be, "go away, I'm going to call the police!"

He laughed and it sent shivers down her spine, "I wouldn't do that prostitution is still illegal remember?"

"You can't prove it!"

"I can," he began to walk up the stairs and reached the bedroom. As he placed his hand on the door handle he tried to open the door but found it couldn't move. He laughed. She could be a clever git when she wanted to be.

"Nice try," he laughed again, "but how are you going to get out?"

"I don't care you can't come in." Whilst she was arguing with Matt she reached for her mobile phone from under the pillow and dialled the police number. As she pressed the phone to her ear, she hoped Matt wouldn't hear.

"I wouldn't call the police if I were you, I can kill you before they even get here."

_"What service do you require?"_

"Police please," she spoke and waited for them to connect her, "my boyfriend's threatening to kill me and my son. Please you've got to help me, the address is 10 Wilshire close, please hurry."

The call disconnected and she heard Matt say, "told you I could kill you before they get here."

"What's got into you?"

"I found out my girlfriend was off screwing other guys," he yelled and ran into the door. A crack appeared and Cathy knew she had to protect Kayden, he wasn't ever getting his hands on him again. She didn't care how hurt she got, Kayden was her priority.

"Your on drugs aren't you? You got me and Kayden involved in some shady characters because you can't stop injecting filth into your veins, you're the bastard not me! I only did what I thought was best, FOR ALL OF US!"

She heard him go downstairs and return. This time he had something heavy in his hand, a hammer and he began smashing the door. The wood was coming away in pieces and Cathy knew she was definitely going to die at his hands, he couldn't see that she tried to do her best in a shit situation.

"You're going to wish you never messed with me!"

Cathy could hear the sirens of the police in the distance but she didn't think they'd get to her before he did. Cathy picked up Kayden, gave him one final hug and kiss and told him she loved him before placing him back on the bed.

She heard the sirens get closer and closer.

"This is the police drop your weapon!"

Cathy could hear shouting from police and Matt and after a struggle she could only presume Matt was arrested. As she picked up Kayden there was a knock on the door and a male police officer shouted, "its alright love, your safe now."

Attempting to shift the set of draws with one hand was difficult but eventually she did it. Opening the door, the male police officer took one look at Cathy noticed her cuts and bruises, the baby and radioed for an ambulance.

"It's gonna be alright love, he isn't going to get away with it."

/

"Is there anyone I can call for you?" The police officer who's name she learnt was David asked as they sat in the busy A&amp;E department. Cathy looked down at Kayden who was happily eating his fist and shook her head.

"No parents?"

"No."

"Extended relatives?"

"No." He sighed. He hated cases like the one he'd just been too, domestic violence incidents. They never got easier especially when they were young women with children. He couldn't understand what possessed men and women to lay their hands on their partners.

"Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you," she smiled softly before the triage nurse called her name. Standing up from the cold plastic seat, she took Kayden and walked into the room. The nurse gestured for her to take a seat and the nurse asked, "you've got a head injury yes?"

"Yes."

She began to examine the head injury at the back of Cathy's head, "have you lost consciousness at all?"

"I did."

"Do you know how long for?"

"No, I think it was about ten minutes though."

"How did it happen?"

"I fell down the stairs."

"And do you have any other injuries?"

"Nothing that won't heal," after the assessment Cathy was told to wait back in the waiting area where she would be seen by the doctor. She sat back down next to the policeman and bounced Kayden up and down on her knee as he was beginning to get grouchy.

There was nothing but silence between her and David before he asked, "are you sure there's nobody I could call for you. A friend, a teacher?"

Before Cathy could think about what she was doing, she replied with a name, a teacher she thought she could trust. "There is one. Ms Mulgrew, Waterloo Road Comprehensive."

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	7. CHAPTER VII

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN**  
_hold me tight in your arms_

* * *

Sonya was sat at her desk flicking through the latest celebrity magazine. It had been a relatively quiet day though the students were all talking about the police presence on Wilshire Close that morning.

There were all sort of stories going around the school, a game of Chinese whispers. Some people were saying it was a secret brothel, some were saying that it was a domestic abuse incident and others were saying it was a drugs den.

Vaughan had been out of the office all day and Sonya thought it wasn't going to harm anyone if she looked at her magazine for five minutes. Christine was on her way to the office to see if there were any messages to why Cathy wasn't in, this was the second day the youngster had missed and it wasn't like her.

If Christine was honest she had a horrible feeling that something had happened to Cathy, she knew from the moment she set eyes on her, the girl was trying to hide something. Reaching the office she opened the door and saw Sonya reading her magazine.

Rolling her eyes she asked, "Sonya has there been any messages from Cathy Hawkins?"

"No," she didn't look up from her magazine and Christine turned to walk away when the phone rang. Sonya picked up the phone, eyes still glued to whatever article she was reading on Jordan, "Mr Fitzgerald's PA."

_"Would it be possible to speak to Ms Mulgrew please?"_

"Of course," removing the phone from her ear, she looked up from her magazine and at Christine. Christine looked at Sonya, "yes?"

"For you."

Christine edged towards the desk and took the phone from Sonya, "Ms Mulgrew speaking."

_"Hello this is David Stokes from Greenock Police, I have a student of yours a Cathy Hawkins?"_

"Is everything okay?"

_"Everything's fine, Cathy's being involved in an accident and she asked for you to be here if that's alright?"_

"What kind of accident? Is she okay?"

_"Cathy's fine, I'll explain more when you arrive at the hospital okay?"_

"Okay, thank you for ringing." As she handed the phone back to Sonya she attempted to piece the jigsaw together. Cathy had been involved in an accident? But how? Suddenly it began to dawn on Christine that Cathy may have been involved in the accident this morning.

"Are you okay?" Sonya asked as she realised Christine had gone very quiet, "Yes. Can you please let Mr Fitzgerald know that I've gone to the hospital. Tell him I'll ring him when I'm on my way back? Thank you Sonya."

Sonya nodded and went back to reading her magazine.

Back at the hospital Cathy had been put in a cubicle now it had become free. Kayden was getting more restless and Cathy knew he needed feeding.

"David?" The officer looked at Cathy and she continued, "I need to feed my baby."

"Okay that's okay, we can get someone to—" he stopped talking when she began to laugh.

"I breastfeed, would it be okay if you were to wait outside?"

David smiled at the youngster and nodded his head. Stepping out of the cubicle, he pulled the curtain around and Cathy began to unbutton her shirt. Cradling Kayden in her arms, he latched onto her nipple and began to feed.

She had been feeding him for five minutes when the young doctor returned. As he stepped into the cubicle to see Cathy in a state of undress, breast feeding her baby his cheeks turned a scarlet colour.

"Sorry," he began to apologise and pulled the curtain back across. She turned her body to the side to allow the doctor to see her head injury better. As he examined it, he couldn't help but notice the other bruises that were covering her back. He'd seen plenty of women and men come to hospital having being on the receiving end of one of their partners fist.

"It needs a couple of stitches, I'll be back in a minute."

He left and returned about two minutes later with a trolley that had stitches on it.

"As I told the triage nurse, I fell down the stairs."

"Fell or pushed?" He began to stitch Cathy's head but she didn't reply. She knew she didn't need to reply or lie, they knew the truth. They knew she was a victim just by looking at her, the split lip, the head wound, the injuries.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen, will be eighteen March the fourteenth."

"How old is your little one?"

"Kayden's seven months," she sighed and nothing else was exchanged between her or the doctor. When he finished putting in the stitches he asked, "have you had any sicknesses, dizziness?"

"No."

"What's today's date?"

"Twenty-forth of November."

"What year?"

"Two thousand and fourteen."

"And who's our prime minister?"

"David Cameron," the doctor satisfied that he didn't need to admit Cathy overnight for observation told her that she was ready to leave when she wanted too. She would need to make an appointment in seven days to return to have the stitches taken out but other than that everything seemed fine.

Before he went he slipped her a number that he thought could help. Cathy looked down at the card and noticed that it was for the woman's refuge. She sighed deeply knowing she probably needed their help, she had nowhere to go now she'd been discharged.

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	8. CHAPTER VIII

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT  
**_i stand in the dark without you_

* * *

When Cathy left the cubicle she stood outside scanning the department, not sure which way to go. Finding the coloured arrows on the floor to the direction of the exist, she walked that way down the corridor as Kayden slept on her shoulder.

Reaching the main reception, she couldn't find the officer that had escorted her to hospital earlier and decided he must've left. Realising there was nothing else she could do here, she began to make her way to the exist before she heard a familiar voice;

"Cathy?" Looking up from the floor her eyes fell upon Christine and she burst into tears suddenly not feeling alone.

Finding a café in another part of the hospital, Christine sat Cathy down at the table. There was nothing spoken between the two Cathy wasn't too sure on how to break the silence and Christine didn't want to force Cathy to talk.

Buying two coffees, Christine brought them over to the table and sat down in front of Cathy. Cathy had taken Kayden from her shoulder and held him in her arms, watching him as he slept wondering why he had such a shit start to life.

"How old is he?"

"Seven months," she paused, "I'm sorry for dragging you away from work. I—I couldn't think of anyone else to call."

"It's okay," Christine stirred the wooden stick around her coffee, "what about your parents?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "my parents don't care. The day I came home and told them I was pregnant they washed their hands off me, mum told me I had made my bed so I may as well lie in it. I moved in with Matt, my boyfriend."

"What happened to you?"

"I fell down the stairs," she sniffed and refused to make eye contact. Christine knew she was lying, she didn't fall down the stairs she was pushed down them. There was a silence before Cathy replied;

"I don't know what I'm doing but I can't go home, he'll kill me."

"Who?"

Cathy sighed, "my boyfriend, the one who pushed me down the stairs. I was wondering—could I stay at the school house, just until I find my feet?"

"I don't think it will be a problem," she smiled softly and took a sip of her coffee, "is this why you've been quiet at school?"

Cathy left the question to linger for a moment before she reached over, took a sip of her coffee and answered; "I didn't want people to know about my home situation. You know its hard been the new kid without everyone knowing you've got a kid and a boyfriend who's addicted to smack."

"You've been coping with this all on your own?"

"You've got too, I'm a mother so there's no point burdening anyone is there?"

Christine sighed, maybe Cathy had a point. When you were a mother you tried to juggle everything life threw in your direction because you felt it was your job too. Once again there was only silence between the two.

Eventually Cathy broke the silence like she did earlier, "I think I made a mistake coming back to school."

Christine looked up from the bottom of her mug and at Cathy, "one thing at a time you've had a lot to deal with. Once we're back at school we'll discuss your options then okay? Now come on, I think we should be getting back."

/

Christine had managed to find a spare room in the school house with Mrs Budgen and Cathy was grateful, it meant she didn't have to go back home yet. She knew eventually she had too, she had to get her clothes and Kayden's things.

Siting on the edge of the bed in the only available room, Cathy still clung to a sleeping Kayden. Maggie looked at the floor and then back at Cathy who was stroking Kayden's face with her thumb.

She looked up from Kayden, "thanks I appreciate this."

"You're welcome, tea will be ready in about twenty minutes."

She smiled slightly, "thank you but I'm not hungry."

"You've got to eat something," Maggie replied and left Cathy alone in the room. She looked around the room with the bare essentials and realised that this would be home for the next few nights, until she could sort herself out and find somewhere else to live.

Twenty minutes later Maggie called everyone for tea and she placed Kayden on the bed, leaving him asleep and went downstairs. Feeling everyone's eyes on her as she walked into the dining room, Cathy felt sick and nervous. She knew they would've all heard about her been taken to hospital.

Sitting down beside Rhiannon, their eyes met and Rhiannon smiled slightly.

A few minutes after Cathy sat down at the table Lisa walked down the stairs and upon seeing Cathy, glared at her. Things still hadn't been the same since the netball accident a few days earlier, Cathy knew Lisa would plan on making her life hell.

"That your kid up there?" Lisa didn't want for an answer, "he's making a racket."

"Thanks," Cathy muttered as she stood up and apologised to Maggie. As she returned upstairs to the bedroom, she saw Kayden awake on the bed, moving sideways and crying. Sshing as she walked towards him, she picked him up and took him downstairs.

She was at the top of the stairs when she heard Shaznay remark to Lisa, "that brat better not be crying all night!"

Maggie tutted and told them all that they should make Cathy _and_ Kayden feel welcome. Lisa and Shaznay exchanged a glance to the other as if to say they wouldn't be welcome here. Cathy sighed, just when she thought things might have got easier, they were getting harder.

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	9. CHAPTER IX

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE**  
_fight enemies with love_

* * *

One week had passed since Cathy's boyfriend was arrested for assault, it wasn't easy to adapt to her new situation been placed in the school house and single-handedly raising Kayden but somehow she did it, there was no choice. As a mother you had to adapt to whatever situation life threw in your direction.

Today was her first day back at school and Cathy wasn't sure she _wanted_ to come back, she knew everyone would be talking about her. She was right, people _were_ talking about her, she was the one with the addict for a boyfriend. Not to forget the one who was stupid enough to get pregnant.

She was sat in Vaughan's office, the head teacher wanting to talk to her before she officially started at school again.

"Now I know its going to be hard to settle in but we're here to help."

Cathy sighed, it was a silly thing to say because they couldn't help her could they? They weren't going through one of the most challenging times of their lives right now. How could they help her to make sense of her situation, of course she blamed herself, if only she hadn't opened her mouth, they'd still be living with Matt, barely living and just surviving really.

"In all respect Sir, you can't help me can you? All you can do is give me extra support with coursework and stuff. I don't want to sound disrespectful but helping me at school isn't going to help with me whatever problems are at home."

"The support you get in school might help you with your problems outside of school."

"All I can do is hope then because I had this conversation with Ms Mulgrew and I really think I've made a mistake in returning to education."

Vaughan smiled slightly, he couldn't even put himself in the place Cathy was in. He couldn't imagine it was easy to do, be on her and have no support when outside of school such as family or friends.

"See how you feel in the next couple of days and then you can make a decision. Whatever you do, don't make a rash decision."

"That's exactly what Ms Mulgrew said." After the conversation with Vaughan, Cathy had to go to her next lesson. It was Art with Allie and she didn't practically mind art or Allie either which was surprising considering who she was married too.

Standing outside the classroom on her own, biting down on her lower lip, she felt the vibration of her mobile phone. Looking down at the number that was calling she breathed deeply, accepted the call and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"_Hello gorgeous_," the voice replied, "_didn't think you'd be hearing from me again did you_?"

She swallowed, "whatever you want I can't give it you."

"_Calm down_," Big Daddy paused, "_that boyfriend of yours — he's been talking to the police_."

She closed her eyes, she knew what was coming. Matt would be grassing up Big Daddy and the gang and he'd tell them all about the drugs and the prostitution. She could feel her heart beating faster, her breathing becoming more erratic.

"He's going to tell them everything," she breathed out, "and it's my fault."

"_Matt isn't going to say anything unless you agree to drop the charges_."

"And what happens if I don't drop the charges?"

"_He gives us full permission to hurt Kayden. Of course we wouldn't but we might still have to take Kayden for punishment_."

Cathy closed her eyes. She remembered the conversation they had about hurting Kayden. She only had their word that they wouldn't hurt him but she couldn't take the risk, she knew she had to make a deal with the devil to stay alive.

"Fine, fine I'll do it," she replied. Cathy saw Allie walk down the corridor towards the room and she knew she had to end the conversation, "I'll drop the charges against Matt as long as you promise not to touch Kayden. You've got to promise me."

"_I promise_," the call disconnected and Cathy breathed in. For now she was safe though doing a deal with the devil was going to have its consequences. Allie noticed that Cathy had gone a pale colour and asked, "are you okay?"

"Fine," Cathy forced a smile and returned the phone to her pocket.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," nothing else was exchanged between the pair of them as Allie opened the classroom door and allowed Cathy in. Sitting in her usual seat in the corner, she waited for the rest of the class to arrive. The lesson passed in a blur, Cathy just absent-mindedly concentrating on her project.

She'd drawn a picture of a girl at the window, where it was raining outside. As she stared at the picture, a tear slid down her own cheek and she wiped it away quickly, making sure nobody noticed. Someone had, Justin.

"Are you okay?" he asked and she wondered if the rumours were true about him, was he really the bad boy everyone made him out to be? Cathy wondered how many rumours were there about her and how many small-minded people actually believed them?

"I'm fine," she lied as another tear rolled down her cheek.

"You're the one with the kid aren't you?"

"Yeah, he's called Kayden."

"How old is he?" Before she could answer Allie told them off for talking and told them to get back to their projects. Justin smiled at Cathy and she found herself looking back at her picture and wondering when art imitated life. When did she become the girl in the drawing?

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	10. CHAPTER X

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN  
**_not perfect but keep trying_

* * *

Cathy was still unsettled in lesson two, she didn't want to make a deal with Matt but she knew _they'd _hurt Kayden and he didn't deserve to suffer because of the choices his mother made in life. At lunch Cathy decided she needed to talk to Big Daddy, surely there was another deal, one better than the one she'd been given?

Pressing the green button she pressed the phone to her ear as it rang.

"_Hello_?"

"It's me Cathy, I need to meet you and talk."

"_Can't talk over the phone_?"

"I can't seduce you over the phone," Cathy stated and she listened as Big Daddy told her he'd pick her up outside school in about twenty minutes and they'd go somewhere private. The call disconnected and Cathy put the phone in her pocket.

She left the school and stood on the corner, sitting on the wall waiting for Big Daddy to pick her up. She started to swing her legs backwards and forwards wondering if she was making the right choice. A black land rover pulled up beside her and she jumped off the wall and got in the car.

"Sorry for dragging you away from work," she smiled slightly as she put on her seatbelt. He didn't reply and drove away from the school. Cathy fiddled with the hem of her skirt as she stared out of the window wondering where they were going, she hoped it wasn't too far away.

Roughly ten minutes later they pulled up outside a house she'd never seen before. He turned off the engine and turned to her, "now this ain't going to take long is it? Only I've got a meeting at two."

"No, I just — I can't drop the charges against Matt."

"You better come in," they got out the car and he locked it behind him. Following him up the garden path to the house Cathy looked around surprised to find he lived in one of the well off areas of Greenock. He unlocked the door and in they went.

"Why the sudden charge of heart?"

She sat on the edge of the settee, "he tried to kill me, I can't just drop the charges against him."

"So you won't him to bring us all down," Big Daddy sat opposite her, "let him tell the police all about _my_ business? Let him destroy everything I've worked hard for over the years because you're scared?"

Cathy started feeling nervous, she knew Matt would drop Big Daddy in it but at the same time, she couldn't just let Matt walk back into her life. He'd kill her, he always said he would and what was stopping him? Nothing.

"Of course I'm scared!"

"What are you scared of?"

Cathy could feel the tears start bubbling in her eyes and she didn't want to cry, she wasn't weak-willed. She chewed her bottom lip and replied, "Well I don't know about you but I'm scared of dying, he said he'd kill me."

Big Daddy didn't say anything for a moment and Cathy stood up and went to walk out of the room. His hand on her arm stopped her and she looked him in the eye as she apologised and said she couldn't drop the charges.

"You might want to reconsider that decision."

His grip tightened on her wrist as she shook her head and said no.

"Like I said you _might_ want to reconsider," she went to shake her head again when he pulled her towards him and grabbed her jaw. He forced his tongue down her throat and she tried to shove him away but he was too strong.

"You said you'd never hurt me," she whispered as he dragged her back in the living room and slammed the door behind him.

/

The journey back to school was longer than it was going to his. Cathy sat in the passenger seat, fiddling with the hem of her skirt once again only this time she was trying not to cry. She felt dirty, used and humiliated. All she wanted to do was go home and get his scent of her.

As she got back to school she slowly walked back into the grounds, pulling on her sleeves. She knew she was late for her first lesson after lunch but she didn't care, she didn't feel anything only numbness. He always told her he'd never hurt her and he had, he'd raped her.

Making her way to Chemistry, she opened the door and walked in. Sue barely looked up from what she was reading, "you're late!"

"I know sorry!" She sat down on her own at the table furthest away from everyone and for the rest of the lesson stayed in her own little world.

"Cathy, Cathy are you even going to pay attention?" She broke out of her thoughts and stared at Sue. She shrugged her shoulders and the young teacher snapped and told Cathy to go and wait outside. Grabbing her bag off the floor, she walked out of the classroom and slammed the door.

She walked down the corridor because she couldn't be arsed standing outside the classroom where she collided with Audrey. Knocking Audrey's files out of her hands, she apologised and bent down to help Audrey retrieve them.

"Sorry Miss."

"It's okay," she smiled slightly, "how come your not in lesson?"

"Got sent out Miss," she sighed deeply, "I was daydreaming."

Picking up the files she caused Audrey to drop she stood up and handed them back to the teacher. There was nothing spoken between both of them for a couple of seconds before Audrey decided to break the silence.

"It's none of my business but is everything okay? I heard about your boyfriend." Audrey smiled sadly and Cathy shrugged her shoulders, replied she was certainly okay and walked away. As she walked away she realised she couldn't possibly tell anyone what had happened. Who'd believe her anyway?

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	11. CHAPTER XI

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**  
_now I'm on the outside_

* * *

4am, she sighed.

She'd been awake for hours staring at the ceiling been unable to sleep. The rape kept replaying over and over in her mind not to forget she was worried about Matt finding out where she was staying. Other people didn't need to be hurt because of her.

She got out of bed and slowly tip-toed down the stairs and into the kitchen. Sitting at the table she closed her eyes.

_"You're hurting me," she whispered as he pushed her down on the settee and snaked his hands up her skirt. He knew he didn't need to do much to make her petrified of him, she'd seen things out of the streets, spoke to the other girls who had him as a pimp._

_He brought a hand to her jaw, forced his tongue down her throat and whispered in her ear, "your going to hurt more when I finish with you."_

She wasn't sat at the table on her own for long, she heard footsteps and turned to the silhouette at the door. Realising it was only Maggie, she breathed a sigh of relief knowing she was safe and apologised for waking her.

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

"Can't you sleep pet?" She asked as she joined Cathy at the table.

"Not really, no." She sighed deeply and tapped her fingers along the table.

"Something on your mind?" She was quiet but nodded to acknowledge the question. Yes right now there was a lot on her mind, she didn't really want to share out loud what those problems were but she knew she couldn't stay quiet forever.

Cathy closed her eyes for a moment and had a flash back to that afternoon.

_He held the knife to her throat carefully as she dialled the number for the police station with a shaky hand. She swallowed nervously as the phone began to ring and she pressed it to her ear. He moved the knife slightly more to the left and whispered; "tell them you want to drop the charges or I'll cut your throat."_

She opened her eyes, "the usual things. My ex-boyfriend, Kayden, going to school."

"Do you want to talk?"

She shrugged, "I don't know are you willing to listen?"

Maggie stood up from the table and made them both a cup of tea. She didn't know why but tea was always the solution. Cathy liked a good cup of tea with three sugars, it was the only things that made her feel at home — like she belonged somewhere.

As Maggie brought the two cups of tea to the table Cathy noticed Matt stood behind Maggie armed with a gun. How did he know how to find her?

"Miss I don't want to worry you but my boyfriend's stood behind you and he's got a gun."

The sound of smashed glass filled the air. Cathy stood up the leg of the chair scraping against the floor, "how did you find me?"

"Your friend told me where to find you," she realised how calm he sounded and she was scared he was going to kill her. She always knew it was a possibility but she didn't think it would be so suddenly, she hadn't had time to prepare for death.

"Do you want me to get Kayden?"

"I don't want him, I want you."

Turning to Maggie she told her she would be okay and let her talk to Matt. She knew Maggie wouldn't let her go with Matt but Matt wanted her, nobody else. She made Maggie promise she wouldn't call the police and Cathy left with Matt not long after five and Maggie knew there was going to be trouble.

She grabbed the phone quickly and called Vaughan. Vaughan and Allie were in bed when his mobile phone rang. He sighed deeply when he realised the time and accepted the call, "Vaughan."

"One of the pupils from the school house has been kidnapped!"

"Kidnapped!" Vaughan sat up in bed disturbing Allie at the same time. She looked at her partner and wondered what all the commotion was, "have you called the police? What do you mean she doesn't want the police involved! Who is it?"

"Cathy Hawkins year twelve."

"I'm on my way over," he ended the call and got out of bed. As he was starting to get ready Allie rolled over onto her side and asked;

"Problem?" Vaughan nodded, "Cathy Hawkins has just been kidnapped by her boyfriend armed with a gun. I'm going to go over to the school house, see if anyone heard or saw anything. Then I'll call the police."

"Keep me updated won't you?"

"I will," he grabbed his keys of the side and bent down and kissed Allie goodbye.

/

Cathy didn't know why Matt brought her here, to the school. To Matt the school was a symbol for everything going wrong, if she didn't feel the need to get her A-levels they'd still be playing happy families.

She chewed her bottom lip as she stood in the middle of the hall, "why have you brought me here Matt?"

He held the gun to her, "because it all went wrong here! You changed Cathy."

"We've both changed Matt," she began and sighed. She was fifteen when they got together, fifteen years old, a child. Of course she changed, she wasn't a silly little girl who was naïve to the world.

"I love you!" He shouted, "and you changed on me!"

"You changed too, you became someone I didn't recognise anymore."

"I forgot how to love you," he replied, "I was so caught up in working and then I got addicted to heroin and before I knew it — I was pushing you away and hurting you. I'm so sorry Cathy, I'm really sorry!"

Cathy didn't know what to do. Was Matt actually apologising for pushing her away and hurting her or was this an act, to get Cathy vulnerable and kill her? She bit her lower lip hard as she stepped towards him, "where did you get the gun?"

"From a friend."

"And what was your intention?"

"To kill you!"

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	12. CHAPTER XII

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE**  
_call me the baddest bitch_

* * *

"Are you still going to kill me?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders, he didn't know. He never wanted to kill her but she was going to leave him and he couldn't bare to live without her because he did genuinely love her, more than she'd ever know or understand.

"Killing me isn't going to solve your problems Matt."

"_You_ made my problems," she sighed deeply, the fact he had a gun didn't scare her anymore. She was just afraid that if he was to shoot her she'd never see Kayden again. And she never told Kayden that she loved him, she never got to say goodbye.

"We were both bad for each other Matt, you've got to understand that."

He waved the gun about, "we were good together. We _are_ good together, you love me don't you?"

"Yes but love isn't good enough, it's not strong enough! We have to move on, you can see Kayden whenever you want I'm not going to stop you. We're just not going to work, we're just going to eventually kill each other. You've got to trust me."

"How can I trust you when you lied and cheated?"

"I did it for a reason," she began, "you got involved with people and they threatened _our_ son. Any mother is willing to do anything to protect their children, I had to protect Kayden because of what you got involved in."

"I wouldn't have got involved if it wasn't for you wanting to change everything."

"We're never going to solve anything like this are we? Constantly blaming the other person."

Leaving the school house after making sure everyone was okay, Vaughan began the short journey to the school. He didn't know why he thought she might be there but there was no harm in trying was there?

When he pulled up outside the school and turned off the engine. As he approached the school he noticed one of the doors had been broken and sighed, either someone was intent on robbing the school or Cathy was in here.

Stepping into the school he called out her name, "Cathy? Cathy are you in here?"

In the hall Cathy heard Vaughan's voice as did Matt and he shouted, "who the fuck have you told?"

"No-one I swear, it must've been the school house."

Vaughan upon hearing the commotion followed the sound to the hall. As he opened the door he saw Cathy in the middle of the room and Matt a few feet away, holding the gun directly at her.

"Come closer and I'll shoot her!"

"I'm going to stay here okay?"

Matt glanced at Cathy, "bet you fucked him as well didn't you?"

"I said I was sorry about that," she sighed deeply, "how many times do I need to apologise?"

"I just wish you didn't do it," he cocked the gun and Vaughan knew he was going to have trouble on his hands if Matt decided to shoot Cathy. He didn't know much about Cathy other than what he'd read on his file but he knew he didn't read anywhere she was at risk from an abusive boyfriend.

"If you're going to shoot me you might as well do it now."

"Cathy," Vaughan said and Matt pointed the gun towards him.

"One more word out of you and I'll shoot you both!"

Vaughan nodded and made eye contact with Cathy. He was surprised that Cathy wasn't scared, he wasn't sure he could remain calm in her situation, been at gunpoint. He breathed deeply and hoped whatever conversation they were having was going to come to an end before someone was shot.

"I'm going with Mr Fitzgerald Matt, this is over!"

The sound of gunshot rang out through the hall and Vaughan stepped back. Cathy didn't even realise it at first, it was only when the pain shot through her stomach that she fell to the floor. She instinctively put her hand over her stomach, blood seeping out through her fingers.

Matt dropped the gun, the sound of it hitting the floor before he ran out of the hall and the school. Vaughan took out his mobile phone and called an ambulance, his own heart beating furiously inside his chest. When he knew an ambulance was on its way, he crouched down next to Cathy.

She stared at Vaughan, "it — it hurts."

"I know," he smiled sadly as he placed his own hands over hers.

"I'm sorry you got involved in all of this, I'm sorry — Waterloo Road did."

"It's okay," he hoped the ambulance would get here soon, he knew any minute now she was going to lose consciousness. Her breathing changed, it started becoming more shallow and she wanted to sleep but Vaughan knew he couldn't let her.

"Cathy stay with me, Cathy."

"Hmm," she felt the liquid pouring through her fingers and she felt sick. She didn't like blood at the best of times least of all when she was losing blood rapidly, more than what her body could cope with. She heard the sirens of the ambulance and her eyes closed.

She didn't hear Vaughan call her name repeatedly.

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	13. CHAPTER XIII

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**  
_its where my demons lie_

* * *

By seven o'clock that morning Vaughan was pacing the hospital corridor. Cathy had been given fluids through an IV and been given an emergency operation to try and repair the damage in her stomach from the gunshot.

Allie arrived at the hospital not long after Vaughan had called worried sick about Vaughan. As she met him in the corridor, she ran into his arms hugging him tightly. When he said someone had been shot, Allie half-expected him to say it was her.

"What were you thinking?!"

"I wasn't, clearly" he replied, "I didn't think he'd do it you know?"

"Oh Vaughan!" Allie sat down on one of the plastic chairs as he sat down beside her, "how is she?"

"She's lost a lot of blood, it was touch and go for a while. They've had to give her surgery to repair some of the damage, they don't know how long it'll take. I've been here about half an hour or so."

Allie stroked her thumb over his hand, "have you called Cathy's parents?"

"There isn't any, her next of kin was her boyfriend."

Cathy lay on a bed in the ward, the machine's beeping loudly disturbing the silence. There was an empty vase on the bedside table and the nurse was in the room, taking Cathy's obs. Vaughan stood by the door watching his student and sighed. When did things get so complicated?

"You can come closer," it's the only word the nurse spoke for a couple of minutes. Vaughan nodded and stepped further into the room.

"A student of yours?"

Vaughan nodded. In all his years of teaching he'd never met a student who was so complicated. He had those students who enjoyed been expelled, those who were just naughty for the sake of been naughty. He'd also met those who enjoyed school but never had he met a Cathy, a girl who desperately tried to keep her private life from clashing with her school life.

"She'll be unconscious for a couple more hours," the young nurse smiled and left the room. Vaughan knew he had to go to school, the school after all wasn't going to run itself but he supposed he could trust his deputies for a couple of hours. There was something about Cathy he couldn't draw himself away from, how an earth was she so alone in the world?

He stepped forward to her bed, "hello Cathy."

There was nothing except the beep of the machine Cathy was hooked up on.

_White clouds, blue skies, blue sea. Flowers, plenty of flowers. Roses, lilies, tulips. She's dancing around through the clouds, splashing on the banks of the water, enjoying been in her company when she sees something or rather someone from afar._

_The figure edged towards her, "this isn't your time to go."_

_"What?"_

_"You need to go back there are people who care about you."_

_"Who are you?" She looked up at the figure, an older woman that she vaguely remembered. Cathy had seen this woman before but she couldn't think where. It definitely wasn't a family member, she had no family to remember._

_"You need to go back, your life isn't here. Your little boy needs you, the world needs people like you."_

_Cathy wanted to touch the woman but there was something stopping her, an internal force. Before she knew it the water, the white clouds and the skies were disappearing before her very eyes. _

She slowly prised her eyes open, immediately closing them again at the bright light. She blinked several times before trying again. Vaughan saw that Cathy moved slightly and said softly, "Cathy? Cathy?"

She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry and hoarse. She could hear Vaughan calling her name and she turned her head to the side, her eyes falling upon Vaughan. She wondered why he came to the hospital with her, he had a school to run didn't he?

"How are you feeling?"

He helped her sit up and she looked down at the wires in her arms, she flicked the cannula in her arm, "can I have some water please?"

She took a sip of the water from the plastic cup Vaughan handed to her and answered his earlier question, "sore though I think that's to be expected when you've been shot right?"

Vaughan smiled weakly as a nurse came into the room. She was surprised to find Cathy awake having thought she would be unconscious for a couple more hours after the major surgery to repair the wound in her stomach.

"Back to the land of the living are we?"

Cathy smiled at the nurse, "what happened? I, I know I was shot but I," she stared in the bottom of the plastic cup she was holding. Vaughan seemed to sense the atmosphere and he excused himself, this was the time to call the school and let them know how Cathy was doing.

As the door closed behind Vaughan the nurse looked at the door and then back to Cathy, "I have to ask but when you were brought in, there were signs of a fight. Were you attacked before you were shot?"

"No," Cathy said it defensively and she knew she'd said it too quickly, "no I wasn't attacked."

The nurse decided to leave the questioning for later, it was clear she was still distressed; "you gave us quite a fright. Let me find you the doctor and I'll allow them to explain what's happened okay?"

Cathy nodded her head as the nurse left the room. She came back a short time later with a doctor who introduced humself as Doctor Samuels. Cathy felt a little funny inside, she hoped she wouldn't be left alone with the doctor, what if he used his position as a doctor to hurt her?

"When you arrived at the hospital we had to take you to theatre as you had lost a lot of blood. In surgery we were able to stitch up the wound and give you a blood transfusion. The gunshot wound did require a lot of stitches but you were lucky, it could've killed you."

Cathy nodded. She knew through her near-death experience how close she was to dying.

"The police would like to ask you a few questions if you feel up to talking."

Cathy swallowed hard and tore the cannula out of her arm going hysterical at the mention of police. The nurse held her closely as she began to sob into the woman's chest.

"Come on sweetheart, what happened to you?"

Cathy was frozen in fear, Kayden was all that mattered.

She whispered as she was soothed, "I was r-raped and then my boyfriend tr-tried to kill me."

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	14. CHAPTER XIV

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN  
**_always got by on my own_

* * *

Cathy spoke to the police though she was reluctant to until she knew Kayden was safe. Her safety was never a priority it was always that of her little boys. The first visitor other than Vaughan was Christine. There was a silence both of them looked at each other and Cathy chewed her lower lip,

"why did he bring you to the school?"

Cathy sighed, "the school is a catalyst of everything going wrong. We were fine until I decided I needed some A-levels. It wasn't just the school that was the problem, we _were_ the problem. Waterloo Road just made me realise I didn't need him anymore."

Christine sighed deeply, she knew from the minute she set eyes on Cathy there was something troubling the youngster. Cathy began to nibble the corner of her mouth, wrapping the bed thread round and round her finger looking at the wall behind Christine.

"How old were you when you two met?"

"I was fifteen, you know naïve and silly? Some older guy takes interest in you, makes you realise that you've got potential. But in the end it's all shit, excuse the french. He says he loves you but he doesn't, he just leaves you pregnant and spends the majority of his time meeting his friends and injecting poison into his veins."

At that moment the doctor that was looking after Cathy walked into the room and told Cathy that she could go home but wasn't aloud to do anything too strenuous. She nodded her head and thanked the doctor, she was glad to be going home, another hour in the hospital would've sent her to pot.

It was only as Cathy was getting off the bed that she realised she had nothing with her. The only clothes she had were the ones covered in blood and she sighed because they were at the police station and she had nothing to go home in.

"Do you have any clothes?"

"No," Cathy replied, "I haven't been able to contact anyone to bring any."

"Would you like me to go and get you some from the school house?"

Cathy was silent for a moment before she nodded. She would appreciate it if Christine could go to the school house and get some clothes for Cathy. She was on her own in the room for about twenty minutes before Christine returned with a carrier bag filled with clothes.

"Here you go," she smiled softly as she took the bag from Christine. Once Cathy was dressed she left the hospital with Christine, walking towards the car in silence. Truth be told she didn't know how to break the silence between them.

It was only when she got in the car and put on her seatbelt in the passenger seat Cathy asked; "is Kayden okay?"

Christine nodded and started the engine, "Kayden's fine, Maggie was looking after him last in the school house."

"Thanks," she smiled slightly relieved to find the social weren't involved. It was the last people she wanted because she knew they'd take him from her. Cathy was seventeen and barely able to look after herself, why would they let her keep her only son?

The journey back to the school house was silent but nothing uncomfortable, Cathy played with her fingers in her lap as she watched the scenery go past. It was only when they pulled up in front of the school house, Cathy began to feel sick with nerves.

Christine seemed to sense that Cathy had gone slightly pale, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," she forced a smile and took off her seatbelt. Getting out of the car she slowly walked towards the front of the school house. She knew she couldn't stay here, telling the police everything meant her life was in danger. Not just her life but the life of her son.

"I can't stay here, you realise that don't you?"

She spoke out loud and Christine sighed before telling her not to make a rash decision, "you need to think about this."

"No, I can't think about this. I have to do it. It isn't just my life who's going to be in danger, it's Kayden, its yours. I want to leave and you can't stop me can you Miss? Please, I'm doing this because I'm brought enough destruction to everybody's life."

She sighed again, "maybe you should sleep on it? You've been through so much trauma you're probably not thinking straight."

"I am," she walked into the school house followed by Christine and immediately went to the kitchen. In the kitchen was Maggie and Kayden, Kayden happily chewing on his fist not realising the drama that had gone on. Once he clasped eyes on Cathy, he smiled knowing who exactly his mummy is.

"Hello Pet," Maggie said and handed Kayden over to Cathy.

"Thank you, both of you." Cathy began to say as she hugged Kayden tightly, "I'm sorry I've brought all this to your doorstep, really I am. You don't have to worry anymore though because I'm going, give me an hour and you'll never hear from me again."

Maggie shook her head, "Cathy you need to think about this."

"Stop telling me to think about it, I'm going! I've done enough to upset you all, please let me do this. I should never have started at Waterloo Road ever, this was where it all went wrong. I'm sorry."

Cathy took Kayden and left the kitchen leaving both the adults to look at each other and shake their heads. They knew they couldn't convince Cathy to stay but they weren't sure they wanted to let her leave either.

* * *

**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review:3


	15. EPILOGUE

ϟ

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**  
_(epilogue \- give me your lovin')_

* * *

Cathy leaves Greenock, moves to Newcastle under the alias Cassandra and Kayden's renamed to Jay. It takes them four hours to get to Newcastle and for the first couple of nights, they just crashed on floors in hostels, Cathy knowing there was a better solution somewhere.

They don't stay in Newcastle for long. The next stop is Middlesbrough where they again just crash in hostels, her money not going far.

Eventually it runs out and she's grateful to meet a man called David. David sort of takes her under his wing, gives her a house and a job for a small price. The price she pays for security is in similar ways to Greenock, sleeping with people for money whilst David injects heroin into his veins.

Oh the irony that the life she was escaping from, she found herself in again.

Only this time she's Cassandra and she's older and wiser.

Two months she grits her teeth whilst he beats her, rapes her and takes her money. Cathy eventually saves enough to leave, to leave Middlesbrough and to leave to start a new life somewhere else. Kayden celebrates his first birthday in the McDonald's branch of Middlesbrough town centre.

Cathy leaves Cassandra behind, moves to Cardiff under the name of Louisa.

Louisa's damaged goods know, Kayden's getting scared and older and he's becoming harder to handle. She makes money as Louisa but decides she can't do this anymore, she can't sleep around with men whilst her little boy is there. She can't pretend she's something she's not.

They leave Cardiff after a week, running from the pimp she's robbed. They move back to Greenock, goes back to the name Cathy. It's been four months since she left and places change. Greenock's changed.

She stands in front of a familiar house, knocks on the door and waits. She doesn't know what brought her here again, with her son and the clothes on her back and a few pounds of change in her pocket but its home. The only home she's ever really had.

The door slowly begins to open and Christine looks at the figure on her doorstep. A young adult, little boy sat on the floor behind her with tears streaming down her cheeks. Cathy looks at Christine and whispers, "you've got to help me, please."

Christine takes pity but what if its not enough? What if Christine can't help Cathy, what if Cathy's forever destined for heartbreak and abuse?

* * *

**jottings** / finished. there may be a sequel but I'm not sure yet, if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review;3


End file.
